Parents-Teen Relationship

4 Appropriate Ways to Handle Emotions in Your Teen. 

Emotions are strong feelings which form part of a person's character; such as pain, hurt, sadness, joy, e.t.c. According to Aristotle, emotions are all those feelings that so change men as to affect their judgements, and that are attended by pain or pleasure. Emotions are comprised of a wide variety of important psychological phenomena like sympathy, excitement, shame, love, e.t.c.

The emotions in your teen unlike in adults are usually "untamed"and uncontrolled. In trying to learn and understand how to express these emotions in positive and healthy ways, you must help your teen understand the impact of his/her emotions on his/her thoughts and behaviours, as well as the ability to delay impulsive behaviours (things we do without giving thoughts to the consequences).

Helping your teen in understanding and knowing how to handle his/her emotions, will help in building in him/her the confidence and maturity you so desperately desire to see. Here are some guidelines on how you can succeed in building emotional self-efficacy in your teen.

1. Help your teen define certain emotions he/she doesn't understand. In as much as the teen stage is the fastest learning stage of a person, there are things that come up as "blank" and confusing for your teen to understand. For instance, your teenager hits a sibling simply because he/she "feels like it". In this case, it is your responsibility to help him /her know what that emotion means (that he/she feels sad, mad, frustrated or  even bored). This is helping your teen build his/her EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY. Oftentimes, your teen acts in certain ways because his/her emotions are bigger than him/her hence, he/she tries to express it in any way possible (even when it seems illogical to you as an adult). One of your roles as a parent is to help them define and express these emotions in HEALTHY ways.

2. Ask him/her what else he/she can do when such emotional outbursts occurs. This helps him/her in identifying other positive ways of dealing with emotions rather than the approach just taken (which may be negative or crude). If your teen hits others when angry for instance,  you can ask him/her about alternative ways of handling his/her anger without hitting others. It is also very important that in doing this, you allow him/her CHOOSE the other available options rather than IMPOSING it on him/her. This gives your teenager a sense of responsibility and control knowing it is his/her choice. It also helps him/her in wanting to try it out.

To be continued... 

REMEMBER! effective parenting is a deliberate, calculated and skillfully planned responsibility

...Do it right, do it well, and create a better tomorrow.
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By Julna Nankap