Why You Must Let Your Teen Take The Adventure Of Self Discovery.
1. It’s A Challenge:
A challenge being an invitation to engage in a “fight” (in this case, the fight that one has to go through in life) avails your son an opportunity to unveil his ability to eventually be a man. Trust me, your teen will realise whether he is growing into a man (when he faces a challenge advanced to him by reason of an adventure he has embarked on) or not. Watch him engage in an activity that pushes him to his limit and watch his response to that situation. For instance, letting him check himself into school on resumption, may be the challenge that brings out qualities in him you never knew existed. Every teenager (especially boys) needs to have an experience that pushes him to his limit. This is what a challenge does. That challenge could be the “fire” he requires to bring out the “gold” that has been suppressed in him.
2. It’s The Birth Of An Exciting Experience:
The journey of self discovery is one full of thrills, and excitements as well as hurdles. At this point of your teen’s life, allow him to be involved in things (activities) that excite him. In so doing, he is creating a “life path” for himself which will eventually sustain him when he grows into a man. Mothers especially, try oftentimes to “shield” their teens from activities that they feel is "too scary or dangerous" for their teen and in so doing, most times end up going overboard hence, denying them an opportunity to discover whatever it is they need about themselves. Allow him join the football team, go on hikes and excursions, sing in the band, join a choir, e.t.c It is in the process of doing these that you will know what he finds exciting and has passion for thereby, helping you as a parent to guide him through his “life’s work”.
3. It Will Expand His Mental, Emotional As Well As Physical Capacity;
In a bit to know who is, your teen must be allowed to engage in activities that will stretch him emotionally, mentally and physically. It is no news that for one to be successful, he must according to Donald J. Trump in his book “Think Big, …separate yourself from ninety eight percent of the rest of the world”. In order to do that, your teen must also “develop himself to be tough, be able to deal with pressure, think of solutions to problems that scare most people, fight back” e.t.c. Trust me, a teen whose parents are constantly “DICTATORS” may never achieve this. Trust your teen enough to allow him take certain decisions, face certain challenges (without you constantly trying to proffer solution), take risks, e.t.c because these will all add up to build his capacity. You must prepare him for the vicious world he is getting into, else he will become a prey and be eaten up by the predators out.
4. It Is A Process He Needs To Enable Him Grow From A Boy/Girl Into A Man/Woman:
The adventure your teen embarks on, is the means by which he/she transits from being a boy/girl to being a man/woman. It is not in itself what makes him experience that change. However, it helps him build self confidence and courage required for growth. One of the ways by which he builds his self esteem, is by the sense of accomplishment. When he/she knows that he/she has been able to accomplish something big or important, it builds the confidence in him/her required in the race of life. Giving him an opportunity to find things he can accomplish is one of vital reason why you should allow him embark on this adventure of self discovery. Don S. Otis said in his book “Whisker Rubs” that “…pursuing children, especially boys, to overcome obstacles through adventure builds self esteem naturally, and they need that to succeed in life”. Avoid shortcuts or constant interventions as a parent.
REMEMBER, effective parenting is a deliberate, calculated and skillfully planned responsibility
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Julna Nankap(Esq)
Parents-Teen Coach.
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